Waiting and wishing and hoping and praying

beauty makeupToday I find out whether I’ve been accepted in the best of the beauty therapy courses I applied to. Although you may not believe, I am one of those people who plans for absolutely everything. Every time I take a chance, I have to sit down and carefully evaluate all the potential outcomes, weighing up pros and cons working out what the best option is and how to get there. In a lot of ways, I’m a real Type A. If everything was neat, and tidy, and correctly ordered in the world, I’d be a very happy girl.

Even though I’m applying for a beauty course, I look like a mess today. Thank goodness you can’t see me, sitting here typing away at the computer, but I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. I was far too nervous, really. What if I don’t get in? There are only so many different beauty therapy courses in Brisbane, what if none of them want me? How will I follow my dreams? Ugh, follow your dreams – that’s what everyone always says, but it’s taken me so long to work out what my dreams actually are that now I know I can’t just walk away. I just can’t accept that my fate is in anyone else’s hands – it’s my fate, dammit, mine! I should be able to control it as I wish. I know my application for the beauty course was good, in my wanderings I’ve spent a lot of time doing a lot of different things and have amassed a very particular set of skills. In many ways I guess you could say I’ve become a bit of a Jill of all trades. But now I’ve found the makeup trade I want to be doing for the rest of my life (or at least, the foreseeable future) and I don’t want to give it up or, worse still, let it slip away.

With so much nervousness and excitement, I give today (or this morning at least) a 5/10.