I guess you could say sharks are making a comeback on the internet. Personally, I blame Sharkira, but I’m not going to hold it against her. To say nothing or Sharkeisha, who’s just a straight-up psycho, I’m sorry…
That said, I’m still torn on whether or not I really like sharks gaining this much popularity. I’M supposed to be the shark enthusiasts. They’re MY jam, and I don’t like the idea of anyone taking them from me like this. I have plans, you see. Right now my garden is a real mess, but I have plans to sort it all out. First off, I need some of that tree removal. Melbourne has that stuff, right? Yeah, I’ve heard of people getting tree removal, for sure, and I think Power Rangers just did a focus episode on how to do it safely. Not that I watch that show, it’s just…my little sister…sometimes I walk past the TV…
Yeah, so, anyway. Once all the trees are removed, I can lay in the tank. It’s going to be like a pool, but with glass partitions over the top. Not a pool…a tank. A shark tank. Melbourne’s very first shark tank. I’m not going to be feeding people to the sharks or anything (they need more than people-meat in their diet- everyone knows that), but I just think it would truly immortalize my love of sharks by taking them from the ocean, placing them inside an enclosed space and inviting people to come and watch. Then they’ll know. They’ll ALL know that I am the shark lord. I can tell you ALL the shark-exclusive secrets, like how they can smell blood across 7000 miles of ocean and never ever sleep, because they’re fuelled by pure rage at all times.
Yeah, this is gonna be AWESOME. I do need some folks from Melbourne who do stump removal, though, because it’s a mess out there. No place for such majestic creatures.
-Flake