The Accommodation Simulation

beach apartments LorneOkay, so THAT was the most terrifying careers counselling session ever. No problem, no trauma, all good.

Everyone in Year 10 had to do the career counselling which makes, sense, whatever…people might be leaving or choosing their subjects, so we all have to know what we want to do. The future, and all of that stuff.

But there’s a new, futuristic method of choosing what we want to do! Or, as in my case, what we DON’T want to do. We all had to sit a computer and undergo a simulation of a career that we might want to do. The list was limited, but I saw ‘hotel manager’ and I thought that it sounded like fun. So I was put in charge of a bunch of beach apartments in Lorne, and I gave my avatar a silly name, as well as funny glasses. The apartments also included function rooms for conferences, and after we got I got the tour I was thrown right into the business. And I mean RIGHT into the business.

I had sixty-three guests, and five of them weren’t happy from the get-go because their credit cards were charged too much. While I was refunding person number three, a lady came downstairs and complained that there was a spider in her room. There was no ‘madam, you live in Australia, suck it up’ button, so I had to send one of my porters to go and solve the problem. Oh, but after all that a tour bus arrived and I had nowhere near enough staff to carry all their bags, so I had to get involved myself. Was that the wrong option? I guess, because I missed three phone calls (the receptionist was sick at home. JANINE, WHY TODAY?), and I was cheerfully informed that three guests wouldn’t be booking because of it. Oh, and then the lead American wanted a tour of Victoria’s best conference venue, because apparently I was stupid enough to advertise them as that, so I put Valerie in charge of the phones and Dennis was supposed to deliver the room service but he stopped midway to help Mrs Gretchen down the stairs, and the bathrooms on the third floor got a MAJOR leak…

So yeah, mental breakdown material right there. Next time I’m looking for accommodation in Lorne, I’m sparing a thought to these brave souls.

-F.G.