So my wife has gone on this massive crusade against violent video games, and here I am just thinking that maybe I need to do something about it. She needs to be stopped. And why? Because I love them, always have.
Ever since my son got Thyme Crisis for his first console, the game where you play as a chef-turned-secret agent who’s trying to stop a massive conspiracy to make all herbs and spices in the world taste the same, I was absolutely hooked. It’s valuable father-son bonding time! And the way you can blast your way through kitchens of corrupt food professionals…well, that’s not something I can give up.
Now Kim has gone out and bought a load of ‘educational’ games in the hopes that our son will take them all to heart and become an air conditioning repair person. Like, there’s one that puts you in the shoes of a Melbourne rendering professional. You just…you just can’t make this stuff up. When I was a kid, I was playing army men with my friends, climbing trees and getting myself muddy in fields. And now my son is sitting in a dark room learning about how you render a concrete wall in the most efficient way. It’s just not how I picture my kid growing up.
Not that I’m disparaging air conditioning or rendering or anything. We have both in our house! But my son deserves to let his imagination run wild and shoot up some aliens while he’s still young. I mean, come on, he’s sitting there in the guise of a guy who works for an up-and-coming rendering company in Melbourne, and he can’t even go home until the clock reaches the end. He has to painstakingly render that concrete wall in real time, and I don’t really feel the urge to join in. This whole trend is just madness.