So I just got back from my honeymoon and instead of slipping into the routine of married life, I’m hunting around for someone who can give my disaster of a wedding video some dazzle. If you have any idea how long it took me to find the perfect Melbourne wedding videographer for my perfect wedding, you may have some sympathy. Hours and hours of sample videos I pored through, and none of them had the kick I was looking for. Don’t just linger on enticing shots of the buffet table. Don’t give me artistically blurred shots of the happy couple staring into each other’s eyes. I’m not a romantic! Give me something dynamic, fun, exciting, intense. A true piece of unique cinema. A dance remix of our wedding vows. A dramatic zoom in on my father’s face when he realise I’ve arranged for a flock of angry swans to be released during his undoubtedly boring speech. Just imagine what the magic of video editing can do with such an exciting stage!
So imagine my…surprise when Dom said the night before that he’d got his cousin Greg to do the job instead, because he’s doing a filmography course. I impressed myself with my restraint, only breaking two mirrors before sending Greg a 3000-word PDF of my exact wants and needs. So imagine my…surprise when I mounted my animatronic lion and rode into the church with You Give Love a Bad Name playing on the organ, only to find Greg filming the guests instead of the dramatic aerial 360 sweep I so clearly wanted.
Long story short: I flung his camera into the cake, which was actually a replica of a Dutch castle made of lemon ice that now looks like a meteor hit it. I wanted to hire a real wedding video person from Melbourne and do it over, but Dom put his foot down. So at least he found a spine out of all this. Maybe this marriage won’t be so bad after all.