So I just managed to get out of jury duty. Win for me, winning all the time! That’s what I do, and especially because the reason I managed to get out of jury duty. I’m a keen sports player, you see, and my team has a final on this weekend. Thing is, I was supposed to be in court on that day. Uh, no thanks! I’ve got better things to do than sit there on a panel listening to rubbish.
So I may have spun a bit of a yarn. It’s a team of inner city disadvantaged children, you see, and I’m the coach giving them motivational speeches to let them know that despite a tough start in life, they can do anything. On top of that, they have such hard lives even now, sports is the only happy thing in their lives.
We had a very generous donation of soccer nets from a local charity group as the old ones were full of holes and made from cheap twine. You know I think being able to play sport is the only thing that keeps them going through their long painful days. I described to the court how their little hands did so well at sports despite the lack of nutrition in their food, since they mostly get their regular gruel on days when they’re meant to be running around the football field. I didn’t think anyone would buy it, but I had half the courtroom in tears. I think my lie may have worked a little too well. The judge offered to pay for new cricket nets as a show of support for getting youth of the streets and away from a life of crime. Now I have to find a real inner city youth group to donate all these nets to. It never ends does it?