The Actual Worst Weekend Away

sorento pest controlHoliday rating: worst ever. I guess you could blame nature, but I can name three hotels at least that I’m never going back to. In fact, I’m just never going back to Sorrento, period. I’m so sorry, Sorrento…I hope your tourism industry continues to thrive, you’re probably a nice place and all for those 99% of people who aren’t me, but it’s over between us. We can stay long distance friends. It’ll be fun!

Yeah, so I should explain. It’s not me, or you. It was the termites. And I’m not throwing shade on the people in Sorrento and Dandenong, termite control is a tough gig, they were quite amazingly on the ball. Almost like the hotel owner had them on speed dial or something. I KNEW that guy was shifty from the moment we checked in; he glanced at the key, then at us and seemed to size us up, as if he was trying to figure out if we were litigious. Kind of wish we were, in a way. So we get to the room, and it’s fine. Nice sea view, while the other windows looked out over the town, which is pretty in its own way.

That’s when…IT happened. I woke up in the middle of the night to my friend screeching from the adjoined room. She was stomping up and down, brushing herself off because her hair was swarming with termites. Once she’d had her head in the shower for a good half an hour, we chanced to check her bed. The whole thing, crawling with the little critters, having a good snacking time. We left pretty quickly, making sure to wake up the hotel manager so we could get a refund. We would’ve said more, but we were too shell-shocked, and just left him calling the termite control people. We took up residence in the hotel across the way, had a more peaceful night…but the complimentary breakfast? Crawling with ants. This time we just sat down on the bed and stared at the plates for a few moments, not quite believing that this was happening. We booked into our final hotel, trying to put it all behind us and have a nice dinner. And then…ugh, let’s just say that there shouldn’t be maggots in steak. Ever. EVER.

We had two holiday days left, and we just decided to give up then. It’s got to be some conspiracy, because this place is usually so nice. Man, those Sorrento pest control people really have their work cut out for them…along with maybe a few health inspectors, I hope.