History of Boat Mechanical…Stuff

boat catchI used to think I had a pretty good grasp on history, particularly the really exciting bits. Probably because those were the parts I payed the most attention to in school, you know? Daring dos, harrowing wars and terror on the high seas in the golden age of piracy. In fact, I’m sort of disappointed nowadays at what society has become. It’s all so…safe. Safe and boring. Safe and boring and uninteresting, which is another word for boring but I think it’s appropriate in this circumstance because that’s how boring modern life is.

I jump at the tiniest thing that might release me from this slightly mundane prison. Like, there are people down at the docks operating a boat catch service. I don’t know much about modern ships, so I just thought that must be to do with catching boats. You know, like…boat catching. A boat is trying to sail away, so you ring up the boat catch people. Like the privateers of old, they’d launch their fastest vessel and catch that fleeing boat, possibly engaging in some good old fashioned fisticuffs if they refused to come quietly. So thrilling! It’d be just like in Privateers of the Bahamas: Live Man’s Jest, except with less summoning of a giant turtle to eat everyone and a whole lot more modern boating technology. Honestly, I’d prefer there to be a giant turtle, especially if Captain Jock Barrow was aboard. I’m really not a fan of his mannerisms.

But alas, it was not to be. Boat catches are a physical thing rather than an actual service. You use them for…something or other. I should look it up, but I’m still reeling from the realisation that if a boat was sailing away from Melbourne, possibly loaded with loot or other ill-gotten gains, there are no official services in place to stop them. Apart from the coast-guard, but…who’s ever actually seen one of those? Makes one rather paranoid about getting your marine trailer repairs, with such an untapped criminal enterprise so close. But that’s dock workers for you…they take care of themselves quite well. Some things don’t change.