Today has been one of the absolute worst days on record. I have needlessly suffered through more than I care to mention for so slight a reason I wonder why I even decided to come here and do this in the first place. The incentive simply hasn’t been great enough to cover the costs. The terrible, terrible costs. What’s worse, this had the makings over a very pleasant couple of days, before it was ruined by a motherly mound of managerial incompetence known as Mary-Lou.
For our bi-annual work conferences, this year we went to a beautiful Victorian seaside town named Lorne on the Great Ocean Road. The company I work for booked out some extremely classy, elegant Lorne apartments for us all, so it looked like it was going to be the perfect mix between work and an escape. However, upon arrival, it quickly became clear that some terrible mistake had been made during the booking process and I was booked in a room with by far my least favourite colleague, the intensely high-pitched Mary-Lou. Suddenly, what had looked to be a trip to the most promising conference venues regional Victoria has to offer had turned into a nightmare to which there was no end.
A sleepless night induced by Mary-Lou’s insufferable snores transformed into a morning jam-packed with loudly squeaked comments about Mary-Lou’s five “adorable” children. I couldn’t even manage to have a moment’s silence during my morning coffee, a sacred ritual violated by Mary-Lou’s incessant jabbering. I was so thoroughly exhausted by the time I arrived at the conference itself that it took all the energy I could muster not to fall asleep during the talks and disgrace myself. No amount of coffee in the world could brighten up my day.
For two nights and days without a minute’s rest, I give this weekend a 2/10.