I have been promised a great position by our glorious leader: that of royal hairdresser. Since childhood I have prepared for this, even before joining the Circle. Now I know that for which I have been training, and I couldn’t be happier.
I’ve been through a lot of jobs, it’s true. First there was the little hair salon in David Jones that I applied to. Then came the scissors incident. Or rather…the first scissors incident. They told me not to run, but I was young and foolish, and I did not listen. Fortunately I didn’t harm any of the loved ones, but it was certainly the end of my dreams for that place. After that I drifted around a few more salons, but it was one disaster after another. A bob cut that was TOO alternative. A bleach job that was more platinum than the client intended. And then scissor incidents 2 and 3.
I was lost and without a home…until I was discovered by the Circle. It was just a social club at first, but eventually I started giving people a personalised hair service, and everyone seemed to love it. I finally had a home, even if I didn’t have a hair salon.
And then came that fateful night, when our wonderful leader revealed that we had been specially chosen for our admirable qualities and skills, and we would soon ascend to create a mighty royal dynasty on the moon! It was quite the evening. But eventually, I came round to the idea. Now we await the glorious day when we ascend in our ancient spaceships, and I become the moon hairdresser that I was born to be.
I have nothing against any of the professional Melbourne hair salons. I acknowledge now that my style is not of this earth, hence all the strange cuts and the scissor incidents. I’m doing them a favour by removing myself from this field of work and establishing something new and wonderful.