Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for love…and by ‘love’ I mean ‘attraction’. I’m not making sense, but neither is this weird relationship I’ve got myself into. She used to come to the auto shop where I worked…I guess you could say it was love at first sight. And by that I mean…yeah, attraction. Attraction at first sight. Anyway, we got chatting, and she mentioned that she was an aluminium enthusiast. Like, she was well into aluminium toolboxes, had stacks of them in her garage and was always out to collect more. And that’s when I said that I was too.
I’m not, by the way. Just so we’re clear, I have no interesting in toolboxes beyond their basic function of being boxes that have tools in them, but I might have spent the last couple of weeks exaggerating my interest. Every time we’ve met up for a date, she has to bring up the whole thing. I guess she doesn’t find many people like me- wonder why?- and now she’s all excited that we’ve found each other. Like star-crossed aluminium loving lovers. The problem here is that I secretly don’t care and whenever she starts talking about draw systems and aluminium ute canopies and aluminium accessories…I’m bored to tears. It’s worse, because I have to pretend I’m interested and I know stuff. Like, ‘yeah, what a great find! Those sure are some great draw systems. Did I tell you about the gas bottle holders that I found yesterday at the dump?’
And she actually wants to hear about them, which kind of blows my mind but whatever. I’ve managed to put it off for this long because I’m not bad at improvising, but at some point I need to tell her. The best relationship I’ve ever had (yeah, that’s right) will be over, but I can’t carry it on forever. I just don’t care about Melbourne’s supply of aluminium toolboxes enough. And if I continue pretending, it’s gonna kill me. I just know it is.