I was thinking about it today, and I don’t think I’ve ever had my hair cut by someone who wasn’t called Charlene. Is this a massive coincidence…or a massive conspiracy? Is there one, all-powerful governing board that forces people to change their name to become a hairdresser, or is it more of a ‘clone’ affair? I should start paying attention to my hairdresser’s face instead of just awkwardly staring at my ugly face in the mirror? I don’t have self-confidence issues; everyone looks weird and unattractive in those mirrors, especially when you’re wearing a sheet and your hair is all wet and weird.
Still, it makes me think. I had to get some marine fabrication done recently…you know, for my boat. And the guy doing it was a stand up bloke. The last guy I got to fix my snapper rods? Name was Greg. I’m starting to think that your name determines so much more than simply what people can call you. It also determines…your job. All the people who work in marine welding and such are called Greg. All the hairdressers are called Charlene, and I’m guessing all the male hairdressers are called Charles because people who make clones obviously aren’t very creative. I mean, they work in cloning. It’s the least creative field. What else?? Obviously, all the guys in construction are Bruce. That’s just a given anyway. All the receptionists are Judy. Wow, this is a global conspiracy! And nobody ever noticed? I feel like this is the plot of a movie or something, where one sane man realises he’s living in a clone dictatorship.
How about next time I need some marine steel fabrication, I casually ask whichever Greg I’m dealing with about the names of his coworkers. Like, who’s your best friend, Greg? Who’s your hardest working employee, Greg? If he goes all shifty eyed, I’ll know what’s really up with the bow rail industry. And every industry.